🏆 Top 10 Kids & School
Ranked by real reader upvotes. The cream of the crop.
Forget everything you learned in college...
'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.' 'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
đź‘Ť 33,626 upvotes
Osama Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...
He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?" "The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong." "Why, what did you answer?" "The Empire State Building." "Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."
đź‘Ť 11,568 upvotes
A Teacher asks the students..
"Is it possible to insert 2 holes through one hole?" Nobody is able to answer Teacher: "You guys are so stupid. Go and ask your parents and come back tomorrow with an answer." The next day too, nobody is able to answer the question. Teacher: "Well, it seems your parents are stupid as well. See the answer is so simple." *Then the teacher makes a circle using his thumb and index finger and keeps it in front of his nostrils.* Teacher: "See, it was so simple, yet nobody was able to answer." The next day, a student comes up to the teacher and says, "Sir, my father has asked if it's possible to insert 7 holes through one hole?" Teacher: "No, that's impossible." Students: "It is possible, my father said." Teacher : "How?" Student: "Take a flute and shove it up your ass."
đź‘Ť 8,036 upvotes
A teacher asked her 6th Grade class how many of them were Trump fans...
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Trump fans. Not really knowing what a Trump fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Trump?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Democrat." The teacher asked him why he's a Democrat. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Democrat and my Dad's a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat." Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me a Trump fan."
đź‘Ť 3,335 upvotes
Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2?
"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you."
đź‘Ť 2,549 upvotes
MOM! I'm being called gay in school.
Who is calling you that son? A bunch of cute boys.
đź‘Ť 2,122 upvotes
A mother takes her three son’s to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
A mother takes her three son’s to enroll in school. The teacher asks. Teacher: What are your son’s names? Lady: This boy’s name is Leroy, this other boy’s name is Leroy, and Leroy here is my third son’s name. Teacher: Isn’t it confusing having all three boy’s named the same? Lady: Oh no, you see when it’s time for lunch I just holler out the door, Leroy! it’s time for lunch, and they all come a runnin. When it’s time for dinner I just holler out the door, Leroy! it’s time for dinner and they all come a runnin. Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy? Lady: Oh, well then I just holler out their last name.
đź‘Ť 1,213 upvotes
First day of school
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory will be off limits to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?" One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
đź‘Ť 1,015 upvotes