Fishing Jokes
The funniest fishing jokes — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.
🏆 Top 10 Fishing Jokes of all time
- #1
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for dinner.
She said, "Somewhere that has fish." So I pushed her in the river.
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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Give a man a poisoned fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime.
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Steve and his buddies were hanging out and.....
Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this t…
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Donald Trump was once asked if he could quote any Bible verses.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you will never have to feed him again." Donald 20:17
Read full joke → - #5
Two tugboat captains have been friends for years.
They would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they …
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10 Inch Bic
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the o…
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There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke?
They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter
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Two fish are in a tank...
Suddenly, one turns to the other and says: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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Poor old fool
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man insid…
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Teach a man to fish, and he'll be able to eat for a lifetime.
Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
Read full joke → - #11
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years.
One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a …
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A Christian is out on the ocean when his boat capsizes...
He immediately starts praying. After half an hour a boat pulls up. "Hey! Need some help?" "No thanks! God will save me!" So the boat speeds …
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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company.
There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright - but after a few months he gets lonely... The pig s…
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What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2 Na!
Read full joke → - #15
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies “Yes I do!” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks “Wher…
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A boy is selling fish at the local intersection in town...
"Dam fish! Get your dam fish here!", the boy shouts. A priest walks by, totally confused, so he decides to ask the boy what the problem is.…
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Vegans who drink water disgust me.
That's a Fish's house you filthy Savage.
Read full joke → - #18
3 guys are on a boat and they have 4 cigarettes but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with.What do they do?
They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
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Walking on water
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been ab…
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Custer's Last Thought
There was a man who was obsessed about the wild west. Cowboys and Indians, this guy loved it all. One day he was in his house looking at hi…
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There were three blondes going on a walk when they come across a river....
They don't know how to get across, but they decide to go to God for help. The first blonde says "please God, make me twice as smart as I am …
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3 men in a boat with 4 cigarettes but no way to light them. What do they do?
Throw one cigarette away and the boat becomes one cigarette lighter.
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What do you call a boat that looks like a penis?
A Freudian ship
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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling...
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they h…
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A man's car breaks down outside a monastery.
The monks take him in and give him dinner--a fantastic dinner, of fish & chips. Best fish & chips he's ever had. So he goes into the kitche…
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