Funny Stories
The funniest funny stories — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.
🏆 Top 10 Funny Stories of all time
- #1
A Swede, an Icelander and a Norwegian end up shipwrecked on a deserted island.
One day, as they are scouring the beaches for firewood, they come across an old oil lamp, washed ashore. The Swede picks it up and wipes it …
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An interviewer asks a shepard
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black ones or the brown ones? Interviewer: Brown ones. Farmer: A co…
Read full joke → - #3 · 1,477 upvotes
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and.....
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers…
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A lovely woman is first in line at a bus stop.
The bus opens its doors to let her on. She lifts her leg for the step and funds she cannot reach it. She realizes it must be her tight dress…
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The Italians are fighting Americans in the trenches
An American gets the idea to yell the name Luigi, and being a common Italian name when someone hears their name and looks up, they shoot him…
Read full joke → - #6 · 3,534 upvotes
She didn't realize tapping him on the shoulder would make him do this.
A lady in a taxi leaned forward to ask the driver a question. She gently tapped his shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, los…
Read full joke → - #7 · 23,968 upvotes
Son : "Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?" Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter". Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to t…
Read full joke → - #8 · 1,012 upvotes
Scientists removed the right half brain of a man
and asked him to count to ten. The man counted, "two, four, six, eight, ten." Then they put the right-half back and removed the left-half, …
Read full joke → - #9 · 1,191 upvotes
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.....
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man …
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A rabbi and a priest
A rabbi Asked a priest: >Could you ever be promoted in your church? The priest answered, >Well, I could become a bishop The Rabbi asked,…
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taxi
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, w…
Read full joke → - #12 · 1,047 upvotes
A female gorilla is alone in a cage at a zoo...
... She has become very cranky due to her isolation and has become increasingly aggressive. Her problematic behavior has become a concern of…
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So Queen of Englad was bored and summoned an American, a frenchman and a russian...
They gather at the palace. The queen says: "Bring me your greatest weapon!". And so they went and came back. The frenchman brought a pistol,…
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Talking street
A man walks up to a street. The street says to the man: "Hey!" The jumps in surprise as the street shouts at him once more. The man is p…
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The Farmer's Daughter
A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the …
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A blond and a brunette was watching the news
Showing was a man standing on top of a tall building yelling that he's gona jump. The brunette looks at the blond and says "I bet you 200 d…
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A boy was born without a body...
His mother carried him around when she went out. Ever time she walked to the grocery store they would pass the playground. He saw children l…
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A woman was trying to breastfeed her son in a bus
The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'…
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I was walking home late at night along a dark street. There was a young woman walking a few steps in front of me.
She crossed over to the other side of the road; I crossed over too. She quickened her pace a little; I quickened my pace too. She broke in…
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Two friends are hanging out one day,
Jim, and Bob. And Jim has a black eye. Bob asks, "Hey what happened to your eye?" Jim sighs and explains, "Well, I was in church, and we're…
Read full joke → - #21 · 13,893 upvotes
The trump family is flying from New York to DC
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says…
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A priest was driving along...
... and saw a nun on the side of the road; he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, f…
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Two Jewish brothers are walking down the street.
They pass a Protestant church whose sign read "Convert to Christianity, Receive $2000". One of the brothers said "I'm going in there to chec…
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A young man and his date were parked...
... on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier…
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I try not to comment about what is in the news but...
I have seen a lot of hate spewed in recent days about a man who is a constant winner and overachiever, and that's what the people who suppor…
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