Tech Jokes

The funniest tech jokes — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.

🏆 Top 10 Tech Jokes of all time

#1
Roses are red, Violets are blue...
Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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#2
I painted my computer black
so that it would run faster, but now it doesn't work.
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#3 · 48,526 upvotes
Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall
On the condition he gets to install windows.
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#4
How do you tell if a blond has been working at your computer?
There's white out all over the screen
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#5
How to get free internet @ home
I live in an apartment complex so I have neighbors left to right and below me. One day I asked my neighbor if he was interested in splitting…
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#6
Windows 10 users won't get this.
Privacy.
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#7 · 1,824 upvotes
What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common?
They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.
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#8
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram
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#9 · 16,824 upvotes
A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printer was
I replied, "Dude, it's 2017, you can use any printer you want."
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#10
How do you create a hipster?
Give a homeless guy an iPhone.
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#11
Yes, I’ve lost to my computer at chess...
But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
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#12
A software engineer walks into a bar.
He sits down and sees the bartender yelling at the computer when trying to process a customer's order. "Why are you yelling at the computer…
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#13
I read an article that said it's good for your eyesight to look at something distant occasionally during computer use.
So I put a picture of my dad next to the monitor.
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#14
What do you call a singing computer?
A Dell
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#15
I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian
All I said was my drivers keep crashing
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#16
Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement
In the end, you ignore everything and click "I Agree".
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#17
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forrest1
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#18
A programmer goes shopping
A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping. "hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12" So…
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#19
I have a Chinese friend with really bad internet
His name is Hai Ping
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#20
What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
You can actually punch information into a computer.
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#21
Political opinions are like assholes
If yours shows up in my Facebook feed I will probably block you
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#22 · 11,157 upvotes
I like my women how I like my computer.
On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.
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#23
Trying to think of a new password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage…
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#24
What's a pirates least favorite letter?
Dear sir, Your internet service has been disconnected due to terms of service violations and excessive downloading. Please return modem and…
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#25
I was in a job interview today. The interviewing manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." ...
So I put the laptop under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here ri…
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