Food & Drink
The funniest food & drink — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.
🏆 Top 10 Food & Drink of all time
- #1
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today
Should have cooked it on aloha temperature
Read full joke → - #2 · 2,637 upvotes
The alien vessel landed quietly on St Peter's square in Rome...
A hatch opened and two little grey men with dazzling smiles appeared. They were promptly granted an audience with the Pope. After a brief d…
Read full joke → - #3
Ever tasted Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
Read full joke → - #4
What can you make with epileptic lettuce?
A seizure salad
Read full joke → - #5
What does a mexican use to cut his pizza?
Little Caesars
Read full joke → - #6
What direction did the pirate go to get his bread??
Yeast!!
Read full joke → - #7
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Read full joke → - #8
Jesus is setting up for supper and he calls Judas
over to help. "Judas, please set the table. " Judas complies and sets the table. "Judas, put the food on the table." Judas places the food o…
Read full joke → - #9
What did the D.J. say to the Vegetable Farmer?
Lettuce turnip the beet.
Read full joke → - #10 · 7,720 upvotes
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Read full joke → - #11
Have you heard about the new emo pizza?
It cuts itself
Read full joke → - #12
What do you call an Apple update you don't see coming?
An iPatch... I'm sorry...
Read full joke → - #13
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Read full joke → - #14
I tried to start an online bakery.
But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
Read full joke → - #15
I recently saw a video of a girl sitting on various fruit
To me, that's fucking bananas
Read full joke → - #16
I like my women like I like my coffee...
Ground up and in the cupboard.
Read full joke → - #17
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit-rollup
Read full joke → - #18 · 1,419 upvotes
God said to Adam "I'm going to make you a woman"
God: "She's going to clean for you, cook anything you want whenever you want it, always look beautiful, never be bad tempered, give you chil…
Read full joke → - #19
Dark humor is like food.
Not everybody gets it.
Read full joke → - #20
Ban pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again!
Read full joke → - #21
What rhymes with orange
no it doesn't.
Read full joke → - #22
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
Read full joke → - #23
I wanted to start a business selling premium dildos,
but I think I can't compete with Apple selling overpriced stuff for assholes.
Read full joke → - #24
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish". [True story. My dad is not an idiot …
Read full joke → - #25
Two men are walking by a restaurant
Two men are walking by a restaurant and one of them says, "That smells amazing! Lets get something." The other man replies, "But they don'…
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