One Liners & Short Jokes
The funniest one liners & short jokes — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.
🏆 Top 10 One Liners & Short Jokes of all time
- #1
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl?
You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
Read full joke → - #2
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Read full joke → - #3
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian
Read full joke → - #4
I am going out with my valentine tonight
I wish I could post it on different sub
Read full joke → - #5 · 1,498 upvotes
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Read full joke → - #6
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
Read full joke → - #7 · 2,572 upvotes
I have an inferiority complex
....But it's not a very good one. :(
Read full joke → - #8
I met a Soldier that survived Mustard Gas and Pepper spray
He was a seasoned Veteran
Read full joke → - #9
an American and a Australian are in the trenches
the American asks: did you come here to die the Australian says back: no i came here yesterday
Read full joke → - #10
What do you get when you spell the word "man" backwards
Flashbacks
Read full joke → - #11 · 1,177 upvotes
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So people don't confuse them with feminists.
Read full joke → - #12
What'd the cowboy say when he walked into the German car dealership?
Audi...
Read full joke → - #13
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Read full joke → - #14 · 2,666 upvotes
If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember...
that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.
Read full joke → - #15 · 1,370 upvotes
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Read full joke → - #16
You're a very beautiful girl
... and you have a nice personality and a beautiful smile Girl: you just wanna get into my pants Boy: you're intelligent as well.
Read full joke → - #17
Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars
The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn
Read full joke → - #18
Old McDonald had a farm...
2.71828 √(-1) 2.71828 √(-1) (5-5)
Read full joke → - #19
What's the United States' biggest, most well-known export?
Troops
Read full joke → - #20
A man drove his car into a tree.
He found out how a Mercedes bends.
Read full joke → - #21 · 45,500 upvotes
I found a place where the recycling rate is 98%
/r/Jokes
Read full joke → - #22
I wanted to make a joke about chemistry tests
But NaH
Read full joke → - #23
Jehovah's witnesses are always banging on my door everyday
Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.
Read full joke → - #24
Why are Jewish men usually circumcised?
Because Jewish women won't take anything that's less than 10% off
Read full joke → - #25 · 13,221 upvotes
It all.
The title says it all.
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