Blonde Jokes
The funniest blonde jokes — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.
🏆 Top 10 Blonde Jokes of all time
- #1
Blonde car
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 200,000 miles on it. One day, she told …
Read full joke → - #2
A blonde is sitting next to a lawyer on a plane
The lawyer just keeps bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offers her 100 to 1 odds, and says …
Read full joke → - #3 · 24,745 upvotes
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and a homely brunette...
...are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during w…
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Why did the blonde climb the roof of the pub?
The drinks were on the house.
Read full joke → - #5
Sexy up skirt...
As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this sexy blonde in a short skirt, I couldn’t resist a quick glance at her panties.…
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A smart scientist amd a blonde girl sit down on a plane.
A very smart man boards a plane and sits down. A blond girl sits next to him. He is bored so he says to her "Let's play a game, I give yo…
Read full joke → - #7
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
Read full joke → - #8
A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian "CAN I GET A BIG MAC FRIES AND A COKE?!!" The librarian says "excuse me miss.....this is a library."
The blonde says...."oh im sorry (whispers) can i get a big mac fries and a coke?"
Read full joke → - #9
3 mothers are sitting around having coffee and talking about their children.
The brunette mom says, "I was going through my daughters room the other day and found a bottle of vodka, I can't believe my daughter drinks!…
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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell, she's holding a hand grenade.
Read full joke → - #11
A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...
...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. …
Read full joke → - #12 · 4,139 upvotes
A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes. "All blonde gi…
Read full joke → - #13
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland...
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. When they were close to the destination they saw a sign: “Disneyland Left”. They stopped, started …
Read full joke → - #14
A cop is walking down the street and notices
A cop is walking down the street and notices a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. “Can I help you?” he asked. The bl…
Read full joke → - #15 · 9,304 upvotes
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.
Read full joke → - #16 · 5,846 upvotes
Is it because I'm blonde?
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count …
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in a desert...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in a desert, when they come across a magical lamp, which the blonde then rubs repeatedly. …
Read full joke → - #18
A Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead all meet at the Stairway to Heaven...
An angel at the top says, "I'm going to tell a joke to you all. If you do not laugh, you may advance one stair, but if you DO laugh, you'll …
Read full joke → - #19
A blonde is watching the news with her husband.....
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts …
Read full joke → - #20
Two pathologists are in a morgue...
...one says to the other, "Hey, you know the blonde stiff in container C-06?" "Yeah?" the other replies. "Well, there's a prawn in betwee…
Read full joke → - #21
A blonde and a redhead watch the news...
A blonde woman and a redhead woman went to lunch. They had to wait for their table so they sat in the bar and had a drink. The TV was on…
Read full joke → - #22
A blonde was sitting at the first class seat on a plane...
The air stewardress tried to pursuade her to return back to economy, which she had bought. The blonde replied: "im blonde, im fabulous and i…
Read full joke → - #23
A guy walks into a bar.
Inside the bar he sees a blonde sitting at the bar, she's intently watching the 10 pm news. The news story is about a man who's standing ato…
Read full joke → - #24
A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain
A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain. The myth of the mountain was that if you jumped off of it and yelled out w…
Read full joke → - #25 · 1,666 upvotes
A Gorgeous Young Redhead Goes into the Doctor’s Office...
She said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her …
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