Bar & Drinking
The funniest bar & drinking — curated, scored by real readers, updated daily.
🏆 Top 10 Bar & Drinking of all time
- #1
Dad, how do you know if someone is drunk?
Dad: Look son, you see those two people walking by?, if I had seen 4, I would've been drunk. Son: But dad, there's only one person.
Read full joke → - #2
Posting a joke on a Reddit is like going in a bar.
Sometimes you get lucky, but most of the time you just lose your self esteem
Read full joke → - #3
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving through a desert.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving through a desert when their car breaks down. They decide they must walk across the des…
Read full joke → - #4
Why do they have bar codes on the returning Swedish fleet?
So they can Scandinavian.
Read full joke → - #5 · 4,300 upvotes
An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar...
I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.
Read full joke → - #6
A blind man walks into a bar...
...and a chair...and a table.
Read full joke → - #7
What does Superman put in his drink?
Just ice.
Read full joke → - #8
Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's.....
....so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.
Read full joke → - #9
So an Irish man walks out of a pub.
What? It could happen.
Read full joke → - #10
A failed tv presenter, a disgraced newspaper editor and a phone hacker walk into a bar....
..and the barman says "What'll it be, Piers?"
Read full joke → - #11
After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
Corona's president sits down and says, "Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf …
Read full joke → - #12
What pronouns should you use with a chocolate bar?
Her/she
Read full joke → - #13
A blind guy walks into a bar...
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He makes his way through the crowded joint to order a beer from the bar. After a fe…
Read full joke → - #14
Two chemists walk into a bar
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have water too." The first chemist now has to rethink th…
Read full joke → - #15
I went to my favorite bar last night.
A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said…
Read full joke → - #16
What does Batman take with his alcohol?
Just ice
Read full joke → - #17
Pun competition
One day, a man was sitting at home with a beer in hand when he read about a pun competition being held downtown. He got up early the next mo…
Read full joke → - #18
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender takes one look at him and says, "We don't serve food here."
Read full joke → - #19 · 2,150 upvotes
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin...
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit and, as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar she asked, "What man here …
Read full joke → - #20 · 3,138 upvotes
In Soviet Russia, an American spy tries to blend in...
George Keats had trained 20 years for this moment. He had mastered the Russian language in its native accent. He learned all of Russia's cus…
Read full joke → - #21
A guy walks into a bar...
...and tells the bartender "Give me anything but a Budweiser." So the bartender hands him a beer, the man drinks it, and leaves. Next day, …
Read full joke → - #22
A blind man walks into a bar.
And a table. And a chair.
Read full joke → - #23
A pirate captain walks into a bar...
...with a peg leg, a steering wheel hanging from his pants, and a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender: "Excuse me Captain, but you have a …
Read full joke → - #24 · 17,895 upvotes
A guy dies and wakes up on a beach.
Nice weather, hot girls playing beach volleyball, barbeques everywhere, laughter and joy. All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him. "Welcome t…
Read full joke → - #25
QUEEN Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day.
QUEEN Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunatel…
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