Grumpy
Old Folk

🏆 Top 10 Tech Jokes

Ranked by real reader upvotes. The cream of the crop.

  1. Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall

    On the condition he gets to install windows.

    👍 48,526 upvotes

  2. A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printer was

    I replied, "Dude, it's 2017, you can use any printer you want."

    👍 16,824 upvotes

  3. I like my women how I like my computer.

    On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.

    👍 11,157 upvotes

  4. What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common?

    They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.

    👍 1,824 upvotes

  5. A programmer goes shopping

    A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping. "hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12" So the programmer went shopping. When he got back, he bought 12 bottle of milk and his room mate asked "why the heck did you bought 12 bottle of milk?!" The programmer responded. "they have eggs"

    👍 800 upvotes

  6. What is Forrest Gump's password?

    1forrest1

    👍 536 upvotes

  7. I was in a job interview today. The interviewing manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." ...

    So I put the laptop under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!" I said, "$200 and it's yours."

    👍 421 upvotes

  8. Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement

    In the end, you ignore everything and click "I Agree".

    👍 371 upvotes

  9. Trying to think of a new password

    WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50fuckingboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

    👍 371 upvotes

  10. How to get free internet @ home

    I live in an apartment complex so I have neighbors left to right and below me. One day I asked my neighbor if he was interested in splitting the cost of my wifi 50/50 so he could also use it. He agreed. I went on to my other neighbor downstairs and asked him the same thing. Now both my neighbors are paying for my wifi.

    👍 326 upvotes