Zuckerberg's Sister Spins Techno While I Spin My Wheels in Retirement

So, Mark Zuckerberg's sister, Arielle, is a secret techno DJ. Caught on camera at San Francisco Tech Week, no less. Well, isn't that just peachy? Here I am, trying to figure out how to work the blasted thermostat, and she's dropping beats at some fancy tech shindig. In my day, a 'set' was what you did with your hair before church, not some electronic racket that sounds like a dishwasher having a seizure. And of course, she's a general partner at Long Journey Ventures—because why just have one absurdly successful Zuckerberg when you can have a whole clan? I bet she doesn't have to worry about her pension or the price of dentures. Meanwhile, I'm over here yelling at the neighbor's kid to turn down that 'music,' which apparently is the same thing she's playing. What a world. Next thing you know, she'll be selling NFTs of her DJ set. I'll stick to my vinyl records and my recliner, thank you very much.